Saturday, November 1, 2008

Wise Father

Once upon a time, we thought we'd have a large family. Lots of kids close together. But things don't always work out like we plan. Lately, it has been on my mind a lot. Sort of longing for what I know I cannot have, while not really sure I would want it anymore anyway. Babies are HARD! And I really enjoy being done with the practical aspects (diaper bags, naps, bottles, diapers, 100 other little things...) After the last 24 hours, I am once again reminded that what we have is for the best. Had we continued with our plan, we would have had a 2 year old and a 6 month old to add to the mix. 5 (sometimes 6) kids in the house 8 years old and under. What were we thinking?

One thing that wasn't on our mind was Matthew and how difficult he would continue to be. God sometimes works in mysterious ways, but I guess sometimes it's pretty clear. If we had those other 2 children, I would not be back at work. I would be home. And being home, I believe I would have kept Matthew home from school on Friday to avoid the complete chaos that is an elementary school Halloween. That would have avoided a call at work from the school psychologist (minor little freak out - nothing out of the norm), but probably wouldn't have been in his best interests in the long term. Overprotecting him isn't good for him and it certainly isn't good for our other children, either. We would not have had the time and the energy to take care of both him and 2 other kids while he was completely out of control this morning. I know, we like to think that God gives us the strength that we need, and had we been given 2 other children, I'm sure I'd be writing an entirely different post. But the fact of the matter is that we were NOT given more children and some days, I thank the Lord for his wisdom. And pray for strength to deal with the 3 we do have.

Although...who knows what the future holds.

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